Stress! Stress....and more STRESS!

I feel like I'm about to have some sort of "meltdown". I'm so tired from the last couple of days, of just living. I've missed a day or so of work, which I will "not" be paid for. The only income that I have from the last couple of day is from the jury duty. They pay you $4.00 daily and $30 for serving. I have no money today, and tried to withdraw my daily allowance thru the special allowance atm in the courthouse. I withdrew the $4.00 daily travel allowance. Had to use it to get some coffee etc for breakfast. No money for lunch. I'm hungry. Looks like i'll be hungry tonight. The clerk at the courthouse when she registered me, did so incorrectly. She corrected it today, but i can't withdraw any additional money till tomorrow at 1 pm. It's going to be a long night being hungry.

I'm also stressed because since I have been serving on this jury duty, my clothes are dirty. I basically have what's on my back, and in my gym bag. They are starting to.....smell! I saw a couple of funny looks on some of the jurors faces as i walked past. I also heard someone in line behind me say to someone with them......."you smell it too....don't you". I was so embarrassed. I've always been a clean person, and have been used to taking the best care of myself. I'm trying to think of someplace tonight that i can wash out what i have on, and have it dry by morning when i have to report for duty again. I could not get to my storage unit for clean clothes, (as it's about 5-10 miles away), as i normally take the bus or subway. No money today.......no way to get there. I'm thinking about going to my job location early before anyone get's there (5 am-ish) and wash my clothes. I have no way to dry them.....so will have to wring them as dry as i can, and put them back on and air dry them. I hope I don't catch cold.

One of my buddies called me today during my lunch / jury break. He told me that he slept with someone back in February. He hasn't told me until now.....but he's worried. He found out that the person has full-blown HIV AIDS! The only way he found out, is that someone that knows this person (one of their family members) told him. I am so afraid for him right now. I can't take it!

It's about 8:15 pm........and I can just barely keep my eyes open. I've been up since about 3 or 4 this morning, since I didn't sleep well last night. I must end now to find a place to lay my head before nightfall. Sometimes, when it's warm, I sleep outside on a bench or something. It's too cold right now, and still wet from this mornings early rainfall. Even though it's the latter half of May, it still hasn't warmed up quite enough to sleep outside. I can't wait! The only problem there, you have to find a place, where "Ben" doesn't sleep. Oh Ben as in the movie "BEN"?........RAT'S! BIG ONE'S HERE IN DC!