I have a big heart. Always have, always will. Even in my current state, where I have virtually nothing, I am always thinking about the other person. I can't explain it, just never have been a selfish person like many.
I had the weirdest dream last night. I don't know if all of this stress has triggered me dreaming something like this, but it was weird. I dreamed that things were hard for me, but suddenly, I became very wealthy somehow (don't ask me....i can't remember how.....i woke up! lol) Suddenly, I went from walking everywhere to driving my dream car a BMW 750! (I actually woke up feeling guilty that I had such a nice car. Can you believe it? I felt guilty about.......a dream!) I had a nice condo or house with as many rooms as I could see in a dream. My kitchen cupboards were stocked to the hilt. That part I remember very well. And yet, what stood out most in this dream, is that every day I would get up, and start cooking, and filling to-go containers with food. I would then assemble everything that was needed for a homeless person to enjoy a meal. I then loaded my new Black BMW (beautiful) with all of this food. I stuffed it with as much as I could. I knew what it's like to be hungry for even a moment. So I packed my car so that no one would have to go hungry. Then I went on the "prowl". Driving by parks, abandoned lots and anywhere that I knew there would be homeless people. Then I would get out, and start handing out the to-go boxes. It was a weird dream.....but a very good one. I felt like Oprah on "The Big Give"!
Friday, May 30, 2008
The Walls Are Closing In.....!
I have CLAUSTROPHOBIA! This in a city that is getting smaller by the minute. I love DC, but there are times when my claustrophobia / anxiety disorder get's the better part of me. There are times when I have to sacrifice what little resources I have to get away from the city for a minute. I've lived in NY and New Jersey also......suffocated!
DC has fit the bill so far. But it's changing, and becoming more Metro-whatever. It's kind of a good thing tho.......because i'm witnessing history being made. But bad for me, because I can't cope sometimes. The amount of people in some locations, i.e. China Town, Union Station areas and many more, is stifling sometimes. I deal with it the best way that I can. I'm like a side-winding snake or a crab....I avoid the crowds many times. Don't get me wrong, I can go to events, shows, movies etc. (my buddy took me to see D.L. Hughley about 2 weeks ago) but I have to leave soon eventually when the crowds start to M.O.V.E.
DC has fit the bill so far. But it's changing, and becoming more Metro-whatever. It's kind of a good thing tho.......because i'm witnessing history being made. But bad for me, because I can't cope sometimes. The amount of people in some locations, i.e. China Town, Union Station areas and many more, is stifling sometimes. I deal with it the best way that I can. I'm like a side-winding snake or a crab....I avoid the crowds many times. Don't get me wrong, I can go to events, shows, movies etc. (my buddy took me to see D.L. Hughley about 2 weeks ago) but I have to leave soon eventually when the crowds start to M.O.V.E.
Better Beginnings
Back in the day.....life was much better for me. I come from a good family, where I was always provided for, and had the best. Even when I became an adult, I worked hard in almost everything that I did. I've been in and out of Corporate America for many years now. The gigs that I've had paid me out the wazooooo, and basically paid you for "just showing up". I've been used to having the best when it comes to apartments, condos, and homes. So you see, I have'nt always been homeless. It just goes to show that it can happen to anyone and anytime.
I was caught off guard the first time that it happened. I had failed to plan ahead, and it cost me dearly. I remember it well. My first corporate down-sizing! What is down-sizing, I said? I had never heard the terminology before. I learned very quickly, and boy was I in for a rude awakening.
I remember getting my "pink" slip. Wasn't even "pink". I felt cheated! (lol) At least give me what you say you're going to give me.....right? You're giving me a pink slip.....that's not even pink! (I can find the humor in this now.....even though at the time....it was devastating).
Being that it was my first time, as I said, I was not prepared. I was used to having thousands of dollars in the bank, travelling with friends, eating at the best establishments etc. I had a nice car at the time.....which basically saved my hide. Everything started to reverse on me with the job loss. No longer did I have the mega cash on hand, no more eating out....to expensive. The so-called friends....bailed out on me. Bills started to mount. My savings......wiped out. Zero. Zilch. Then came the fabled EVICTION NOTICE! Uggggh! I still have problems saying that word now. My nerves were shot. I was scared out of my gourd. I ended up selling or giving my furniture to neighbors and friends, and put whatever else I could in storage. I couldn't even afford a large enough storage area to house all of my vintage, and antique furniture. (That still pains me to this day. One of a kind items. Irreplaceable!)
Anyhow, to make a long story short, everything being dissolved from the home location, it was me and my car now. I remember finding a little gig thru a temp agency. Having a gym membership, I could still shower etc and clean up to go to work. I wanted to work. I wasn't used to not working. So I slept in my car, drove every morning to B_ _ _ _' _, worked out briefly at 5 and 6 am, just like now, and then went to work.
What made this time so difficult was that it was going into the winter month's. And at the time, I was in the mid-west. Midwest winters are "NO JOKE"! Temperatures in the teens, with a windchill factor added in! Whew! I remember putting blankets, and comforters in my car trunk. It was soooooo cold. I would drive around and find quiet, private spots where I would be undetected on the street. I wanted it to appear that my car was just a parked car, and no-one would be the wiser. Until those night at 2 a.m. when you have to go take a whiz in -10 below weather. ( Note to self: May you never again "piss into the wind"!) I remember having to start the car 'every 5-10 minutes. I counted by my watch, and it seemed that every 8 minutes, my fingers and toes would go numb. I couldn't risk any frost-bite damage to my hands especially, since I made my living with my hands etc......'typing, multi-tasking'. I had to learn a lot of little tricks to survive. It was harder in the mid-west than here in DC. There weren't all the "agencies" that there are here to help you out. So in order to eat somedays, I had to charge lunch on my gas cards, and store the food in my trunk. Only things that were non-perishable though. Also, it had to be something that could be eaten at the time, because in this weather, anything else would be frozen if left in the car. And I had no microwave or any way to warm it up.
Just a brief overview of my 'first time'. I would never wish it on anyone. But just goes to show that it can happen to anyone, no matter what status in life.
I was caught off guard the first time that it happened. I had failed to plan ahead, and it cost me dearly. I remember it well. My first corporate down-sizing! What is down-sizing, I said? I had never heard the terminology before. I learned very quickly, and boy was I in for a rude awakening.
I remember getting my "pink" slip. Wasn't even "pink". I felt cheated! (lol) At least give me what you say you're going to give me.....right? You're giving me a pink slip.....that's not even pink! (I can find the humor in this now.....even though at the time....it was devastating).
Being that it was my first time, as I said, I was not prepared. I was used to having thousands of dollars in the bank, travelling with friends, eating at the best establishments etc. I had a nice car at the time.....which basically saved my hide. Everything started to reverse on me with the job loss. No longer did I have the mega cash on hand, no more eating out....to expensive. The so-called friends....bailed out on me. Bills started to mount. My savings......wiped out. Zero. Zilch. Then came the fabled EVICTION NOTICE! Uggggh! I still have problems saying that word now. My nerves were shot. I was scared out of my gourd. I ended up selling or giving my furniture to neighbors and friends, and put whatever else I could in storage. I couldn't even afford a large enough storage area to house all of my vintage, and antique furniture. (That still pains me to this day. One of a kind items. Irreplaceable!)
Anyhow, to make a long story short, everything being dissolved from the home location, it was me and my car now. I remember finding a little gig thru a temp agency. Having a gym membership, I could still shower etc and clean up to go to work. I wanted to work. I wasn't used to not working. So I slept in my car, drove every morning to B_ _ _ _' _, worked out briefly at 5 and 6 am, just like now, and then went to work.
What made this time so difficult was that it was going into the winter month's. And at the time, I was in the mid-west. Midwest winters are "NO JOKE"! Temperatures in the teens, with a windchill factor added in! Whew! I remember putting blankets, and comforters in my car trunk. It was soooooo cold. I would drive around and find quiet, private spots where I would be undetected on the street. I wanted it to appear that my car was just a parked car, and no-one would be the wiser. Until those night at 2 a.m. when you have to go take a whiz in -10 below weather. ( Note to self: May you never again "piss into the wind"!) I remember having to start the car 'every 5-10 minutes. I counted by my watch, and it seemed that every 8 minutes, my fingers and toes would go numb. I couldn't risk any frost-bite damage to my hands especially, since I made my living with my hands etc......'typing, multi-tasking'. I had to learn a lot of little tricks to survive. It was harder in the mid-west than here in DC. There weren't all the "agencies" that there are here to help you out. So in order to eat somedays, I had to charge lunch on my gas cards, and store the food in my trunk. Only things that were non-perishable though. Also, it had to be something that could be eaten at the time, because in this weather, anything else would be frozen if left in the car. And I had no microwave or any way to warm it up.
Just a brief overview of my 'first time'. I would never wish it on anyone. But just goes to show that it can happen to anyone, no matter what status in life.
Please Try Your Call Again......
It never ceases to amaze me.....the few close friends and associates that "know" of my "situation", know that I have a pre-paid cell phone. It seems at the worst possible moments, that they call, and just want to "yack". I can't blame them tho....they are just worried about me, and sometimes don't hear from me for a while. So they call me up (only 6 minutes pre-paid time left mind you...lol) and want to tell me about how the family is, things going on at the office, the color of the new car I bought, how many sales I made yesterday...etc.
They get a little upset or out of sorts sometimes when I cut the call short. But they fail to remember or realize that I don't have a contract, and can't just talk all day. I'm not a phone person really anyhow. I'm a "functional" phone person....I say what I have to say (i.e. meet me at such-and-such at 5 pm) in 3-4 minutes or less and then I'm done.
But, since the advent of texting, it kind of saves me a little money on airtime, since it only cost a few cents to send one, versus actually using per-minute airtime to talk. It also saves me from my friends that like to go on "tangents" with their conversations. It allows me to tailor, and or control it a little more.....say what I have to say and be done.
I also use the old landline/payphone trick. It saves me a lot of money. Someone calls. I let it roll to voicemail, and then call them back from a payphone. Only 50 cents for the call, and I can "talk" a bit longer if they need to, since the call is paid for already now. Who say's I can't have "unlimited" nights and weekends! LOL
They get a little upset or out of sorts sometimes when I cut the call short. But they fail to remember or realize that I don't have a contract, and can't just talk all day. I'm not a phone person really anyhow. I'm a "functional" phone person....I say what I have to say (i.e. meet me at such-and-such at 5 pm) in 3-4 minutes or less and then I'm done.
But, since the advent of texting, it kind of saves me a little money on airtime, since it only cost a few cents to send one, versus actually using per-minute airtime to talk. It also saves me from my friends that like to go on "tangents" with their conversations. It allows me to tailor, and or control it a little more.....say what I have to say and be done.
I also use the old landline/payphone trick. It saves me a lot of money. Someone calls. I let it roll to voicemail, and then call them back from a payphone. Only 50 cents for the call, and I can "talk" a bit longer if they need to, since the call is paid for already now. Who say's I can't have "unlimited" nights and weekends! LOL
Thursday, May 29, 2008
CrackHeads Rule!
Last night I went to what I thought would be a quiet spot to get some sleep. Even though it was chilly outside, I would trade it for a quiet nights sleep for a minute. However, what I found upon arrival at a local area church off 14th street was off the chain. When I climbed the steps, I was greeted by several crackheads, (actually using the pipe when I arrived). They were kind of divided into little "communities" or families if you will. The "lady of the house" that I copped a spot near, greeted me (while hitting her pipe, and searching for the crumbs on the ground) and immediately started to question me. She wanted to know if I had been there before (she did'nt remember me from the last time not so long ago....2 weeks), and immediately wanted to know if I had (lol...get this....a gun). Then she wanted to know if I had any money. After I started to engage her....it "seemed" as though she wanted to talk for a minute. So I did even though I was tired. However, as SOON as she found out I didn't have any money, she immediately said that she didn't want to talk anymore.
I guess what appeared to be her man appeared. He was with her the last time that I came there to get some rest. It was colder though, and they were rapped up in their blankets etc. The only time they saw me, was when "he" got up to take a piss and run the street for a minute. He didn't remember me either though, because the last time that I saw him, he was standing over me "tweaking"! He was really high then, and very erratic in his movements. Everytime he moved, my eyes would open (trying to keep track of him). And it's a good thing that I did, because he would be standing over me each time.
Last night however was different though. He did'nt seem to remember me either though. He asked me if I had been there before, to which I replied yes. He asked me then if I would move around the corner from where they were. I told him no, (because there was ample room for all of us and this was a public place). He started to get nervous, and went over and whispered something to his girl (so much for whispering....cause I heard just about everything). He told his girl that I might be "5-0".......and took her around the corner to the other side of the porch on the church. They disappeared for what seemed an eternity, but was only less than 5 minutes. I sat up immediately not knowing if he was going to come around the corner with a brick or gun or something. When he didn't come back within about 10 minutes, I left and went to find another location I thought would be safer. It was a long night.
I guess what appeared to be her man appeared. He was with her the last time that I came there to get some rest. It was colder though, and they were rapped up in their blankets etc. The only time they saw me, was when "he" got up to take a piss and run the street for a minute. He didn't remember me either though, because the last time that I saw him, he was standing over me "tweaking"! He was really high then, and very erratic in his movements. Everytime he moved, my eyes would open (trying to keep track of him). And it's a good thing that I did, because he would be standing over me each time.
Last night however was different though. He did'nt seem to remember me either though. He asked me if I had been there before, to which I replied yes. He asked me then if I would move around the corner from where they were. I told him no, (because there was ample room for all of us and this was a public place). He started to get nervous, and went over and whispered something to his girl (so much for whispering....cause I heard just about everything). He told his girl that I might be "5-0".......and took her around the corner to the other side of the porch on the church. They disappeared for what seemed an eternity, but was only less than 5 minutes. I sat up immediately not knowing if he was going to come around the corner with a brick or gun or something. When he didn't come back within about 10 minutes, I left and went to find another location I thought would be safer. It was a long night.
Appreciating your input.....assistance
This is a special thanks to those that have posted information & resources that provide for the assistance of homeless individuals. Sometimes, we get so caught up in the concerns of everyday life, that we take for granted things done.
Thanks to the good peep that posted the information about Bread For The City info, and also the good peep that listed this blog with DC Blogs. Thank you.
It comes with much appreciation.
D.
HOMELESSJOBLESSHUNGRYNDC@YAHOO.COM
Thanks to the good peep that posted the information about Bread For The City info, and also the good peep that listed this blog with DC Blogs. Thank you.
It comes with much appreciation.
D.
HOMELESSJOBLESSHUNGRYNDC@YAHOO.COM
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Stay Encouraged....Be Strong.......Keep Optimism!
I hope that anyone, if anyone, reading this that may be in a similar boat, can stay strong, and encouraged, and realize that hopefully things will not alway be as they are. I work on a daily basis to set small, realistic goals for myself that I know that I can attain. I set them a little on the small side so that they are not over-whelming, and then I get discouraged....and quit.
Like a Gray Mare
The gray hairs are coming out with a ferocity now. I used to be able to keep up with them. Thank goodness for "Just for Men". The guys in the locker room at the gym stare.....but it's a necessary evil that I have to do. After I get my workout, I have to work the gray out!
It only takes me about 10 minutes.......and I feel so much better, and younger after I'm done. It does a lot for my self-esteem.
It only takes me about 10 minutes.......and I feel so much better, and younger after I'm done. It does a lot for my self-esteem.
They're Biting....Not Fish Either!
They were biting last night. Not fish either! I had to sleep outside last night. I slept at a bus stop. The funny thing is, I had to walk a country mile to find one, because many of them were already "occupied". Yea.....the Inn was full!
I finally found one, in an area that i thought was relatively safe. I pulled my hat down (to keep warm, and "hide" my face) and then put my sunglasses on. Yea....I hear a song coming on....."I wear my sunglasses at night"!
They were biting last night....and no, not the fish either. The mosquito's were out in full effect. And boy were they hungry! They ate me alive! I need to get my bottle of alcohol and go from head to toe. I don't know how some of the guy's do it....they lay on the ground, totally oblivious to the mosquito's, bugs that crawl on them, and the.....RAT'S! I guess for some, a mixture of crack and or alcohol will cancel the sense of "feel and touch" out sometimes. I've never been bitten by a rat before.........not on my to do list!
I finally found one, in an area that i thought was relatively safe. I pulled my hat down (to keep warm, and "hide" my face) and then put my sunglasses on. Yea....I hear a song coming on....."I wear my sunglasses at night"!
They were biting last night....and no, not the fish either. The mosquito's were out in full effect. And boy were they hungry! They ate me alive! I need to get my bottle of alcohol and go from head to toe. I don't know how some of the guy's do it....they lay on the ground, totally oblivious to the mosquito's, bugs that crawl on them, and the.....RAT'S! I guess for some, a mixture of crack and or alcohol will cancel the sense of "feel and touch" out sometimes. I've never been bitten by a rat before.........not on my to do list!
It's All A Blur!
Memorial day weekend has been a "blur". That's not necessarily a bad thing either. I needed a brief escape from the burden I've been carrying as of late. I went to a local bar and I guess the patrons could tell I'd been under some stress and that it looked like I could use some relief. Before I knew it, I had "5" credit shot glasses lined up in front of me. Different patrons had bought me some much needed drinks. Much needed!
Needless to say, I got blitzed this weekend. It's normall not my character to do this. But it happened. I've never been one to get drunk, vomit, puke, and pass the *#@$ out! Just not my style. I did however, just....pass out! (LOL)
My friend "R - " who works for the "F_ _", cam back from a training class he had in North Carolina. He graduates this weekend. I'm so proud of him. He only came back in town for the weekend, and to check on his house, since hes been gone almost the entire month of May. So I crashed with him for the weekend. He had an all night card party with some of his friends. One of them make the best hot dogs! I don't know what she put on them, but they were all of that! Also another friend made cocktails. She put some MOJO on them MOFO'S! (Whoa Nelly!)
I couldn't hang though. I was already blowed from the liquor I had at the bar. I greeted everyone politely, then went upstairs to take a shower, and then retired quietly to my buddy's guest room. Silent departure.
Needless to say, I got blitzed this weekend. It's normall not my character to do this. But it happened. I've never been one to get drunk, vomit, puke, and pass the *#@$ out! Just not my style. I did however, just....pass out! (LOL)
My friend "R - " who works for the "F_ _", cam back from a training class he had in North Carolina. He graduates this weekend. I'm so proud of him. He only came back in town for the weekend, and to check on his house, since hes been gone almost the entire month of May. So I crashed with him for the weekend. He had an all night card party with some of his friends. One of them make the best hot dogs! I don't know what she put on them, but they were all of that! Also another friend made cocktails. She put some MOJO on them MOFO'S! (Whoa Nelly!)
I couldn't hang though. I was already blowed from the liquor I had at the bar. I greeted everyone politely, then went upstairs to take a shower, and then retired quietly to my buddy's guest room. Silent departure.
Friday, May 23, 2008
A Rude Awakening!
Last night and the night before, I was awakened at the bus terminal by a uniformed DC police officer letting me and others know, that if you didn't have a ticket to travel, you would have to vacate the premises.
His voice, was heavy and startled me. Having lived in Detroit, Baltimore, NYC, DC and New Jersey, I don't frighten or scare easily. He caught me off guard. But then again, I guess most anything would when you have your eyes closed......right?
His voice, was heavy and startled me. Having lived in Detroit, Baltimore, NYC, DC and New Jersey, I don't frighten or scare easily. He caught me off guard. But then again, I guess most anything would when you have your eyes closed......right?
The Picture of Health?
Even though I workout everyday and keep a nice tight, muscular frame......I need a good physical exam. I cannot remember the last time I had one. Oh yes, I do. October 2006......poinsonous spider bite, put me in the hospital for 4 days. Had to have an operation to have the venom and dead necrosis tissue removed. But does that count?
I have no medical insurance. I have no dental insurance. I am well, but also want to stay that way. My teeth are beginning to hurt some days. I know that I have at least 5 cavities. I can feel them. They hurt bad.
I have no medical insurance. I have no dental insurance. I am well, but also want to stay that way. My teeth are beginning to hurt some days. I know that I have at least 5 cavities. I can feel them. They hurt bad.
A Family Afair
I'm starting to see more homeless "families" on the streets now. With the foreclosure rate being as high as it is DC....no not just DC....the country......more and more families are losing their homes. I see them every day. You can't miss them. I see them all the time at the library, McDonalds, Union Station, the City parks......all over.
A father, a mother, and child.....or sometimes children. It breaks my heart. I know how difficult it is just for me as a single man to take care of myself, let alone a whole family. I see them pulling multiple backpacks and suit cases. I see the mother feeding her baby at the library. I see them washing clothes out at the bus station. I see them filling out job applications while eating lunch with a crying baby. It makes me wonder where they go or stay at night. Do they separate and meet back up during the day? The reason I say this, is because most homeless shelters do not take families, or even couples for that matter. So a whole family.....where do they go at night? Hmmmmmm.......
A father, a mother, and child.....or sometimes children. It breaks my heart. I know how difficult it is just for me as a single man to take care of myself, let alone a whole family. I see them pulling multiple backpacks and suit cases. I see the mother feeding her baby at the library. I see them washing clothes out at the bus station. I see them filling out job applications while eating lunch with a crying baby. It makes me wonder where they go or stay at night. Do they separate and meet back up during the day? The reason I say this, is because most homeless shelters do not take families, or even couples for that matter. So a whole family.....where do they go at night? Hmmmmmm.......
Duty Done!
Wow.....! I can't believe it's over! I mean it's been less than a week since we started jury duty.......but it seems like more! I guess it was just the time spent with 11 other people in a closed room for so many hours......it seems like a lifetime. To make a long story short, the defendant had 5 charges against him. We found him guilty of only 1 (possession of marijuana). The other 4 charges...........1) Possession of a firearm without a license 2) Possession of a firearm without a registration 3) Possession of ammunition for a firearm 4) resisting, and assault on an officer.......we were deadlocked on. The majority, including myself ruled "not-guilty" on these charges. The evidence was just too overwhelmingly simple that this young man was not guilty. Story in short: Officer pulls up behind a suspicious van, turns on lights (sirens etc).......van pulls off. Chase ensues. Van ends up in DC in a dead end street, strikes a pole. Chase is over, but occupant of the van (5 total) flee.......all but one get away....save one.....the defendant. Long in short.......they had to pen the charges on someone........he was the only one left. I couldn't in good conscience, put this young man away (based on the evidence presented), just because he was the only one that was caught. The judge declared a mistrial on these counts.
The judge thanked us for serving, and released us. The lawyers from both opposing sides came into the jury room to speak with us, to ask us what they could have said differently to convince us of their case. We ran it down for them.....on both sides......Offense and Defense.
That was my "LAW AND ORDER" moment.
Case closed.
The judge thanked us for serving, and released us. The lawyers from both opposing sides came into the jury room to speak with us, to ask us what they could have said differently to convince us of their case. We ran it down for them.....on both sides......Offense and Defense.
That was my "LAW AND ORDER" moment.
Case closed.
Shaking A Cup?......
I could never do this........no matter how low I sink. I could never do this. It's offends me, even as a homeless person. Who am I to "sit" on the curb and shake a cup at someone? I can understand for those that may have physical limitations, such as missing limbs or a mental handicap. But I have seen toooo many "able-bodied" people shaking "the cup". I mean to me, it just sends a message to everyone, that...."i'm lazy".....and this is the EZ route for me. "Bring me money". That's what shaking the cup say's to me. It seems as though it makes it hard for those that truly do need a "handout".....if you will.
And not only that......those that are asking for money.......instead of asking someone for money for food to get something to eat.......ask someone for money so that "I can buy a bucket and squeegie for washing windows" to support myself. Or, for that matter any other items that might be bought to support "oneself". The old proverb sticks out in my mind: You can buy a man a fish, and feed him for the day..........but you can teach him how to fish, and feed him.....for life!
And not only that......those that are asking for money.......instead of asking someone for money for food to get something to eat.......ask someone for money so that "I can buy a bucket and squeegie for washing windows" to support myself. Or, for that matter any other items that might be bought to support "oneself". The old proverb sticks out in my mind: You can buy a man a fish, and feed him for the day..........but you can teach him how to fish, and feed him.....for life!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Mission Accomplished!
Mission accomplished. I was able to do what I said I was going to do last night. After leaving Greyhound from getting some rest last night, I walked 15-20 blocks to my job. I arrived at approximately 5 a.m. and entered the building with my keycard. Greeted the guard at the desk, and made a quick exit to my office suite. I quickly went to the sink in the office and washed my pants out with some dish washing liquid that was under the sink. Wrang them as dry as I could. I put them on the "heater" in my office....only to find that it was blowing "cold" air. (Such much for drying them there.) So I put them in a plastic bag, (to avoid getting anything else wet) and put them in my gym bag.
I made myself some coffee, and looked in our office refrigerator to see what was left over from meetings the previous weeks. Tons of juice and sodas. But could only drink the juices as I'm cutting back on the sodas. The pickings were "slim". I only found some frozen dinner rolls in the freezer. So I microwaved them, and ate up with my coffee. (Hey.....it will keep my stomach from hurting until 1 pm.!)
I had some work on my desk, that someone had placed there evidently from the night before. So I went ahead and did it while i was there, so it would'nt be piled up after I get back to the office from jury duty. I prepared a Fed-ex to send off for one of my co-workers, and dropped it off at Fed-ex/Kinkos around the corner from the White House. As soon as I got to the gym, I put my wet pants in the rock sauna so that they could dry out. Looks like a couple of other guys had the same idea. (The wall was full of wet items....) I went on into the gym....got a good workout in. After I was done, I showered, sat in the sauna for a while, "flipping" my pants so they could toast on the other side. (Lol)
Left the gym, and walked to where I am now....at the library to write a quick one before I go to jury duty at 11 a.m. I'm so hungry! I should have money waiting today after 1 pm from the previous days according to the jury clerk. As soon as the judge dismisses us for lunch.......break-neck speed to the atm!
I made myself some coffee, and looked in our office refrigerator to see what was left over from meetings the previous weeks. Tons of juice and sodas. But could only drink the juices as I'm cutting back on the sodas. The pickings were "slim". I only found some frozen dinner rolls in the freezer. So I microwaved them, and ate up with my coffee. (Hey.....it will keep my stomach from hurting until 1 pm.!)
I had some work on my desk, that someone had placed there evidently from the night before. So I went ahead and did it while i was there, so it would'nt be piled up after I get back to the office from jury duty. I prepared a Fed-ex to send off for one of my co-workers, and dropped it off at Fed-ex/Kinkos around the corner from the White House. As soon as I got to the gym, I put my wet pants in the rock sauna so that they could dry out. Looks like a couple of other guys had the same idea. (The wall was full of wet items....) I went on into the gym....got a good workout in. After I was done, I showered, sat in the sauna for a while, "flipping" my pants so they could toast on the other side. (Lol)
Left the gym, and walked to where I am now....at the library to write a quick one before I go to jury duty at 11 a.m. I'm so hungry! I should have money waiting today after 1 pm from the previous days according to the jury clerk. As soon as the judge dismisses us for lunch.......break-neck speed to the atm!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
The Chi-Chi Bitches! (Pronounced She-She)
It never ceases to amaze me how rude the Chi-Chi bitches can be. Let me explain. These are the blond hair socialites that walk on their lunch breaks (if some of them have to work at all), with latte's and frappucino's in their hands. In one hand a Fendi bag, in the other one a couple of shopping bags from Macy's and Neiman Marcus.
They walk past you as if you don't exist. You can even see some from a distance "mouth" to the other one's to switch your bag/purse to the other side.....as the one who does so says....."thank you". It is so hurtful for them to assume that they have something that I either need or want like that!
Totally unrelated........I found some HUMOR! (After being stressed out today!) I'm standing in the public library waiting in line for an express temporary 15 minute computer to write this. There is a Chinese lady in front of me that goes up, logs in, and begins using one. You could see here "fidgeting" though. The next moment un-beknownst to me, she reaches over and picks up here sweater, and begins to wipe the floor with it. I'm puzzled at this....and wonder what she is doing. The next thing I know she looks back with an embarrassed grin on her face, and just smiles, and keeps....wiping. She pee'd on the floor! LOL............she just could'nt hold it. One of those Funniest Video moments. I'm glad I was there for that. I would'nt have missed it for the world!
They walk past you as if you don't exist. You can even see some from a distance "mouth" to the other one's to switch your bag/purse to the other side.....as the one who does so says....."thank you". It is so hurtful for them to assume that they have something that I either need or want like that!
Totally unrelated........I found some HUMOR! (After being stressed out today!) I'm standing in the public library waiting in line for an express temporary 15 minute computer to write this. There is a Chinese lady in front of me that goes up, logs in, and begins using one. You could see here "fidgeting" though. The next moment un-beknownst to me, she reaches over and picks up here sweater, and begins to wipe the floor with it. I'm puzzled at this....and wonder what she is doing. The next thing I know she looks back with an embarrassed grin on her face, and just smiles, and keeps....wiping. She pee'd on the floor! LOL............she just could'nt hold it. One of those Funniest Video moments. I'm glad I was there for that. I would'nt have missed it for the world!
Stress! Stress....and more STRESS!
I feel like I'm about to have some sort of "meltdown". I'm so tired from the last couple of days, of just living. I've missed a day or so of work, which I will "not" be paid for. The only income that I have from the last couple of day is from the jury duty. They pay you $4.00 daily and $30 for serving. I have no money today, and tried to withdraw my daily allowance thru the special allowance atm in the courthouse. I withdrew the $4.00 daily travel allowance. Had to use it to get some coffee etc for breakfast. No money for lunch. I'm hungry. Looks like i'll be hungry tonight. The clerk at the courthouse when she registered me, did so incorrectly. She corrected it today, but i can't withdraw any additional money till tomorrow at 1 pm. It's going to be a long night being hungry.
I'm also stressed because since I have been serving on this jury duty, my clothes are dirty. I basically have what's on my back, and in my gym bag. They are starting to.....smell! I saw a couple of funny looks on some of the jurors faces as i walked past. I also heard someone in line behind me say to someone with them......."you smell it too....don't you". I was so embarrassed. I've always been a clean person, and have been used to taking the best care of myself. I'm trying to think of someplace tonight that i can wash out what i have on, and have it dry by morning when i have to report for duty again. I could not get to my storage unit for clean clothes, (as it's about 5-10 miles away), as i normally take the bus or subway. No money today.......no way to get there. I'm thinking about going to my job location early before anyone get's there (5 am-ish) and wash my clothes. I have no way to dry them.....so will have to wring them as dry as i can, and put them back on and air dry them. I hope I don't catch cold.
One of my buddies called me today during my lunch / jury break. He told me that he slept with someone back in February. He hasn't told me until now.....but he's worried. He found out that the person has full-blown HIV AIDS! The only way he found out, is that someone that knows this person (one of their family members) told him. I am so afraid for him right now. I can't take it!
It's about 8:15 pm........and I can just barely keep my eyes open. I've been up since about 3 or 4 this morning, since I didn't sleep well last night. I must end now to find a place to lay my head before nightfall. Sometimes, when it's warm, I sleep outside on a bench or something. It's too cold right now, and still wet from this mornings early rainfall. Even though it's the latter half of May, it still hasn't warmed up quite enough to sleep outside. I can't wait! The only problem there, you have to find a place, where "Ben" doesn't sleep. Oh Ben as in the movie "BEN"?........RAT'S! BIG ONE'S HERE IN DC!
I'm also stressed because since I have been serving on this jury duty, my clothes are dirty. I basically have what's on my back, and in my gym bag. They are starting to.....smell! I saw a couple of funny looks on some of the jurors faces as i walked past. I also heard someone in line behind me say to someone with them......."you smell it too....don't you". I was so embarrassed. I've always been a clean person, and have been used to taking the best care of myself. I'm trying to think of someplace tonight that i can wash out what i have on, and have it dry by morning when i have to report for duty again. I could not get to my storage unit for clean clothes, (as it's about 5-10 miles away), as i normally take the bus or subway. No money today.......no way to get there. I'm thinking about going to my job location early before anyone get's there (5 am-ish) and wash my clothes. I have no way to dry them.....so will have to wring them as dry as i can, and put them back on and air dry them. I hope I don't catch cold.
One of my buddies called me today during my lunch / jury break. He told me that he slept with someone back in February. He hasn't told me until now.....but he's worried. He found out that the person has full-blown HIV AIDS! The only way he found out, is that someone that knows this person (one of their family members) told him. I am so afraid for him right now. I can't take it!
It's about 8:15 pm........and I can just barely keep my eyes open. I've been up since about 3 or 4 this morning, since I didn't sleep well last night. I must end now to find a place to lay my head before nightfall. Sometimes, when it's warm, I sleep outside on a bench or something. It's too cold right now, and still wet from this mornings early rainfall. Even though it's the latter half of May, it still hasn't warmed up quite enough to sleep outside. I can't wait! The only problem there, you have to find a place, where "Ben" doesn't sleep. Oh Ben as in the movie "BEN"?........RAT'S! BIG ONE'S HERE IN DC!
Jury Duty....Exhausting.
It's been tough to write here for a couple of days. I was summoned for jury duty, which has turned into a trial. Good thing is, that it should only last one more day.
I slept at the bus station last night. Did'nt sleep a wink. So many regular travelers, not to mention other homeless people and transients came thru. So much noise. Wow....the noise. It was deafening. Not to mention, that it was raining cats and dogs. Since I couldn't sleep, I got up and went to the front door of the bus terminal. I just stood and watched the rain, and got kind of lost for a minute in the rythyms and patterns that it made on the sidewalk outside. I was immediately oblivious to the noise behind me. The water had a calming effect on me, if only for a minute. That bad part is, that I didn't have money to get to the gym this morning to shower, shave and the likes. I had to walk 20 plus blocks, but it was necessary. I got there. I had already gotten my "workout" by the time that I walked thru the front door. Lifted a couple of weights, and a little cardio, sat in the sauna to relax. Showered. Then walked 15 blocks to the courthouse. Have been in the courtroom all day. I'm tired, and would love nothing more than to sleep in a normal bed for a night or so. I am sooooo........tired. Tired. Tired.
I slept at the bus station last night. Did'nt sleep a wink. So many regular travelers, not to mention other homeless people and transients came thru. So much noise. Wow....the noise. It was deafening. Not to mention, that it was raining cats and dogs. Since I couldn't sleep, I got up and went to the front door of the bus terminal. I just stood and watched the rain, and got kind of lost for a minute in the rythyms and patterns that it made on the sidewalk outside. I was immediately oblivious to the noise behind me. The water had a calming effect on me, if only for a minute. That bad part is, that I didn't have money to get to the gym this morning to shower, shave and the likes. I had to walk 20 plus blocks, but it was necessary. I got there. I had already gotten my "workout" by the time that I walked thru the front door. Lifted a couple of weights, and a little cardio, sat in the sauna to relax. Showered. Then walked 15 blocks to the courthouse. Have been in the courtroom all day. I'm tired, and would love nothing more than to sleep in a normal bed for a night or so. I am sooooo........tired. Tired. Tired.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Touching......Moving.
Before I came to the Library today, I was tired. So I, like many others found me a park bench to crash on. I had went earlier to breakfast at S.O.M.E. and was still a little full. Good breakfast. Bacon, eggs, grits, coffee, and milk.
So, I walked up into one of the small parks in the business district in North West, near the White House. I can never remember the names of these parks. Anyway, I found me a reasonably comfortable position, and actually fell asleep for about an hour. I was awakened by the small voice of an East Indian man. "Sir", "sir". "Hello"? He finally got my attention. As I awoke, I pulled down my shades (I wear them to keep people from staring you in the eye), and he says to me: "There is some food in the red van across the park." I said Thank you to him with a curious look on my face. Here was a man, a total stranger, not to mention from a totally different culture that was offering me food. I thought, "How nice". As I walked over, I found an East Indian family or friends of about 6 in number. This included a little boy of about 8 years old passing out bottled water. I waited in line, and as I glanced in the back of their van, I saw what appeared to be dozens and dozens of lunches packed neatly in styrofoam containers. The procession was so neat an orderly. The women had it down pat. You could tell that they had done this before. I was given a lunch packed neatly in a plastic bag, along with a smaller paper bag inside which included some cheese crackers and eating utensils, wrapped neatly in a napkin for sterility. I was so impressed. As I carried my lunch back to the bench I had been asleep on, I asked another guy that had received one of the lunches and was chowing down, if it was good. He said yes. Very. I responded, cool. I sat down opened it up, and it smelled sooooo good! A mixture of potatoes, rice, beans, and something else that I could not identify. As I began to eat, I couldn't stop thinking about how good it was. I had eaten East Indian food many times, but this was much different. A home cooked meal. Outstanding!
As I finished, I put my plastic bag and the contents in a nearby trash can. Then, being so impressed with the little, but at the same time mass lunch serving, went over to the red van. As I approached they were doing what appeared to be the clean up and departure scenario. I had to let the family know who good their food was, and especially so, since they do not use meat. I let the females know how appetizing it was and that I never missed the meat that was absent. But my real reason for approaching them was to 'thank' them for their anonymous kindness, for taking the time to help those that could not help themselves. I also thanked them for all the ones that did 'not' take the time to say thank you. Some grabbed bagged lunches, turned heels, and departed. I apologized for them, and told the family to not take it personally as many of these people have led hard lives, and how many had struggled to survive the previous night. They graciously accepted the compliment and departed. How humanitarian.
There are many times that I often wished that I had the physical resources (i.e. car or van) and monies to be able to do the same thing. If I had a million dollars in my possession, being the person that I am, I know that probably 75% of it would probably go to the many that cannot help themselves. I've always had the proverbial 'soft spot' in my heart for the "under-dog" in life.
Sigh! A nice dream!
So, I walked up into one of the small parks in the business district in North West, near the White House. I can never remember the names of these parks. Anyway, I found me a reasonably comfortable position, and actually fell asleep for about an hour. I was awakened by the small voice of an East Indian man. "Sir", "sir". "Hello"? He finally got my attention. As I awoke, I pulled down my shades (I wear them to keep people from staring you in the eye), and he says to me: "There is some food in the red van across the park." I said Thank you to him with a curious look on my face. Here was a man, a total stranger, not to mention from a totally different culture that was offering me food. I thought, "How nice". As I walked over, I found an East Indian family or friends of about 6 in number. This included a little boy of about 8 years old passing out bottled water. I waited in line, and as I glanced in the back of their van, I saw what appeared to be dozens and dozens of lunches packed neatly in styrofoam containers. The procession was so neat an orderly. The women had it down pat. You could tell that they had done this before. I was given a lunch packed neatly in a plastic bag, along with a smaller paper bag inside which included some cheese crackers and eating utensils, wrapped neatly in a napkin for sterility. I was so impressed. As I carried my lunch back to the bench I had been asleep on, I asked another guy that had received one of the lunches and was chowing down, if it was good. He said yes. Very. I responded, cool. I sat down opened it up, and it smelled sooooo good! A mixture of potatoes, rice, beans, and something else that I could not identify. As I began to eat, I couldn't stop thinking about how good it was. I had eaten East Indian food many times, but this was much different. A home cooked meal. Outstanding!
As I finished, I put my plastic bag and the contents in a nearby trash can. Then, being so impressed with the little, but at the same time mass lunch serving, went over to the red van. As I approached they were doing what appeared to be the clean up and departure scenario. I had to let the family know who good their food was, and especially so, since they do not use meat. I let the females know how appetizing it was and that I never missed the meat that was absent. But my real reason for approaching them was to 'thank' them for their anonymous kindness, for taking the time to help those that could not help themselves. I also thanked them for all the ones that did 'not' take the time to say thank you. Some grabbed bagged lunches, turned heels, and departed. I apologized for them, and told the family to not take it personally as many of these people have led hard lives, and how many had struggled to survive the previous night. They graciously accepted the compliment and departed. How humanitarian.
There are many times that I often wished that I had the physical resources (i.e. car or van) and monies to be able to do the same thing. If I had a million dollars in my possession, being the person that I am, I know that probably 75% of it would probably go to the many that cannot help themselves. I've always had the proverbial 'soft spot' in my heart for the "under-dog" in life.
Sigh! A nice dream!
Humor Day & Night - Freaky Friday
Chronicle: - 5-17-2008
Even though homelessness is difficult and tough on a daily basis.....the everyday struggle to survive, there are many times when humor reigns.
Last night while finding my normal "roost for rest" for the night at the Greyhound bus station, I stood outside in the cold to watch the "sights". It's amazing sometimes what goes on between the hours of 1 and 5 a.m. in the morning, when most normal, self-respecting persons are in bed.
Last night, Friday night, the "Drag-Queens" were out in full force making their money. Now even though I don't swing that way at all, I still find it humorous to watch them. "Big Queens", "Lil Queens", "In-Between-Queens"......all types! The "costumes", for lack of a better term, make the show worth watching! LOL......phew! Where do they get some of these ideas? The object I've found just by watching, like "normal" prostitutes.....the object is to be SEEN on the SCENE! The six inch stilletto boots, the super short "Daisy Dukes", the big faux designer bags, the multi-colored wigs (with a alternate/change in the purse - so that "she" can become another person if the "look" is not working for the night!) LOL
What's even more funny is the number of "straight" guys that come out of the "straight" clubs after partying with the "real" females that patronize these queens! Who would have ever thunk it? You see them creeping around, circleling around until they finally "find' what they want, pick it up quickly (around the corner) and pull off. Amazing. Just like regular prostitution, you see same "ho" back on the block 10 minutes later. Nothing different.
On a different tip, on my daily trip to the library to write this blog, while waiting for my computer session to come up, I made my normal trip to the "john" to make a deposit. It always cracks me up, that the library opens at 9:30 a.m. every morning. It's like a stampede for the homeless people to get in to make a mad dash for the restrooms. During this "visit", lol, I never find it anything less than amuzing to listen to what goes on in the stall next to me. Sometimes its sheer agony! The grunting and the groaning. Man! The guy next to me you could tell was in obvious "pain", yet relief! "Oh God!, Oh God! Ummmph!" He says! All I could think, was what did he have last night for dinner?! Sometimes, you can hear someone "eating" in a stall. Gross. But since there is no eating allowed in the Public Library, a bathroom stall is the only private place sometimes for them to eat their meals sometimes. So you hear the crackling of paper, slurping and the likes sometimes.
Then there are times when you may find an occasional "whacker"! To be blunt, and keep it real.....he's masturbating in the stall next to you. I guess since he doesn't have a home to go to, and can't do it anyplace else, this is the next best thing. It's funny as hell. Sometimes you can see the "hand puppet" on the flooor. Up, and down. Faster and faster. Slow....then fast. Then...suddenly....the heavy breathing! And finally the sigh. (Hope it was good for you fella!) LOL
Even though homelessness is difficult and tough on a daily basis.....the everyday struggle to survive, there are many times when humor reigns.
Last night while finding my normal "roost for rest" for the night at the Greyhound bus station, I stood outside in the cold to watch the "sights". It's amazing sometimes what goes on between the hours of 1 and 5 a.m. in the morning, when most normal, self-respecting persons are in bed.
Last night, Friday night, the "Drag-Queens" were out in full force making their money. Now even though I don't swing that way at all, I still find it humorous to watch them. "Big Queens", "Lil Queens", "In-Between-Queens"......all types! The "costumes", for lack of a better term, make the show worth watching! LOL......phew! Where do they get some of these ideas? The object I've found just by watching, like "normal" prostitutes.....the object is to be SEEN on the SCENE! The six inch stilletto boots, the super short "Daisy Dukes", the big faux designer bags, the multi-colored wigs (with a alternate/change in the purse - so that "she" can become another person if the "look" is not working for the night!) LOL
What's even more funny is the number of "straight" guys that come out of the "straight" clubs after partying with the "real" females that patronize these queens! Who would have ever thunk it? You see them creeping around, circleling around until they finally "find' what they want, pick it up quickly (around the corner) and pull off. Amazing. Just like regular prostitution, you see same "ho" back on the block 10 minutes later. Nothing different.
On a different tip, on my daily trip to the library to write this blog, while waiting for my computer session to come up, I made my normal trip to the "john" to make a deposit. It always cracks me up, that the library opens at 9:30 a.m. every morning. It's like a stampede for the homeless people to get in to make a mad dash for the restrooms. During this "visit", lol, I never find it anything less than amuzing to listen to what goes on in the stall next to me. Sometimes its sheer agony! The grunting and the groaning. Man! The guy next to me you could tell was in obvious "pain", yet relief! "Oh God!, Oh God! Ummmph!" He says! All I could think, was what did he have last night for dinner?! Sometimes, you can hear someone "eating" in a stall. Gross. But since there is no eating allowed in the Public Library, a bathroom stall is the only private place sometimes for them to eat their meals sometimes. So you hear the crackling of paper, slurping and the likes sometimes.
Then there are times when you may find an occasional "whacker"! To be blunt, and keep it real.....he's masturbating in the stall next to you. I guess since he doesn't have a home to go to, and can't do it anyplace else, this is the next best thing. It's funny as hell. Sometimes you can see the "hand puppet" on the flooor. Up, and down. Faster and faster. Slow....then fast. Then...suddenly....the heavy breathing! And finally the sigh. (Hope it was good for you fella!) LOL
Friday, May 16, 2008
Chronical 1 : 5-16-2008
I consider myself fortunate to have a gym membership. I am able to go to the gym primarily to workout and keep my stress levels down due to my situation. But it serves a dual purpose....it also allows me to keep myself up. I am able to shower, shave and the likes. Many homeless people do not have that luxury.
I do find that some of the club members are nosy tho. You see....the bag that I carry to the gym is quite large for obvious reasons. Everything that I own pretty much is on my back! So I have to keep all of these items with me: A couple of changes of clothes, underwear, socks, soap, washcloth, deodorant, toothpaste/brush. The list goes on. It is a tremendous burden to lug it around all day. I've developed a dark mark on my right shoulder that is tender to the touch.
Chronical 2: 5-16-2008
I saw a homeless woman today that made me cry. Literally break down and cry. She was in a wheelchair sitting outside of McDonalds begging for money. It was obvious she could not walk. Her clothes reaked of urine, from not being able to bath or move from the chair. She had scars from the top to bottom of her body. She was crying. No one would help her. I could not. I could just barely.....help myself. It was an extreme source of frustration. If I had it to give to her, she would have received it.....unselfishly. I will pray for her tonight. Someone with a heart will come along to assist her, I am confident of it.
I consider myself fortunate to have a gym membership. I am able to go to the gym primarily to workout and keep my stress levels down due to my situation. But it serves a dual purpose....it also allows me to keep myself up. I am able to shower, shave and the likes. Many homeless people do not have that luxury.
I do find that some of the club members are nosy tho. You see....the bag that I carry to the gym is quite large for obvious reasons. Everything that I own pretty much is on my back! So I have to keep all of these items with me: A couple of changes of clothes, underwear, socks, soap, washcloth, deodorant, toothpaste/brush. The list goes on. It is a tremendous burden to lug it around all day. I've developed a dark mark on my right shoulder that is tender to the touch.
Chronical 2: 5-16-2008
I saw a homeless woman today that made me cry. Literally break down and cry. She was in a wheelchair sitting outside of McDonalds begging for money. It was obvious she could not walk. Her clothes reaked of urine, from not being able to bath or move from the chair. She had scars from the top to bottom of her body. She was crying. No one would help her. I could not. I could just barely.....help myself. It was an extreme source of frustration. If I had it to give to her, she would have received it.....unselfishly. I will pray for her tonight. Someone with a heart will come along to assist her, I am confident of it.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Chronical: 5-14-2008
Sometimes it's hard to write here. Reason being: Having a quiet place, to process your thoughts is sometimes at a premium. It's hard. Also, I have to visit the public library to use a computer to be able to write here. Sometimes, like yesterday, you miss a day.
I know no-one will probably ever read my thoughts here, or for that matter probably ever care if they did actually read it. I guess it's just for me to keep my sanity. "Dear Diary:"..... LOL
I had enough money to get two double cheeseburgers from McDonalds yesterday. The only thing, they are very high in calories and fat. Not good for the waist or ol ticker! But it's what I could afford, and it kept my stomach from growling. Besides, $2.20 for the two sandwiches. Where else can you buy dinner for that!? LOL....(I have to laugh to keep from crying)
I consider myself fortunate though, as some did not have what I had.
I'm eating breakfast at work now. Raiding our refrigerator. Like a smorgasboard....to me it is anyways. Left over bagels and cream cheese from the staffs instructional class that's been going on for the last two weeks. It's been saving my butt. The left overs have been a godsend! The only problem, I only work part-time Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. And then only from 8-12 pm. So Tuesdays, Thursdays and weekends I have to fend for myself, or else carry what I can with me for the next day, like I do sometimes. I carry it in my gym bag with my clothes. My bag gets quite heavy sometimes. I always get these strange looks from people, and the comment: "That sure is a big bag your'e carrying"!
Emotions felt today:
Embarrasment
I know no-one will probably ever read my thoughts here, or for that matter probably ever care if they did actually read it. I guess it's just for me to keep my sanity. "Dear Diary:"..... LOL
I had enough money to get two double cheeseburgers from McDonalds yesterday. The only thing, they are very high in calories and fat. Not good for the waist or ol ticker! But it's what I could afford, and it kept my stomach from growling. Besides, $2.20 for the two sandwiches. Where else can you buy dinner for that!? LOL....(I have to laugh to keep from crying)
I consider myself fortunate though, as some did not have what I had.
I'm eating breakfast at work now. Raiding our refrigerator. Like a smorgasboard....to me it is anyways. Left over bagels and cream cheese from the staffs instructional class that's been going on for the last two weeks. It's been saving my butt. The left overs have been a godsend! The only problem, I only work part-time Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. And then only from 8-12 pm. So Tuesdays, Thursdays and weekends I have to fend for myself, or else carry what I can with me for the next day, like I do sometimes. I carry it in my gym bag with my clothes. My bag gets quite heavy sometimes. I always get these strange looks from people, and the comment: "That sure is a big bag your'e carrying"!
Emotions felt today:
Embarrasment
Monday, May 12, 2008
Chronical: 5-12-2008
Chronical 1 - Today has been a relatively good day, despite having to sleep at the Greyhound bus station last night. Some of the things that you see during the nighttime hours.....wow!
Last night it rained cats and dogs. I managed to make it to Union Station and chill for a while. I watch everything. You can learn a lot by observing, you know?
I left Union Station and made it to Greyhound at about 9:30 pm. Drained my tank, and made myself comfortable and inconspicuous in the traveling crowd. They have a new plasma television system at Greyhound! Who would have thought. Go Greyhound! Watched a little of the Hillary / Barack battle and some of the other news. Despite the weather with all the rain and all, the station was very busy. People coming and going. I was tired last night. Slept in and out from the time that I got there. I remember getting up at around 2 am. Security comes thru to check the station. If you don't have a ticket, you have to leave. Made my way to the lobby to hang out till they left. Then sneak back in! LOL
Last night it rained cats and dogs. I managed to make it to Union Station and chill for a while. I watch everything. You can learn a lot by observing, you know?
I left Union Station and made it to Greyhound at about 9:30 pm. Drained my tank, and made myself comfortable and inconspicuous in the traveling crowd. They have a new plasma television system at Greyhound! Who would have thought. Go Greyhound! Watched a little of the Hillary / Barack battle and some of the other news. Despite the weather with all the rain and all, the station was very busy. People coming and going. I was tired last night. Slept in and out from the time that I got there. I remember getting up at around 2 am. Security comes thru to check the station. If you don't have a ticket, you have to leave. Made my way to the lobby to hang out till they left. Then sneak back in! LOL
How Did This Happen?.......
A lot of people wonder.....how did I get here? Here....being the condition known as homelessness. Hungry, cold alone.
Why am i writing this, I ask myself. Then I remember.....oh......to keep my sanity! There are days that are good.....relatively. Then there are days that are bad....really bad.
I remember a time, not long ago, when I was doing really well for myself. Good government job. Nice apartment/condo. Nice car, good food, nice lifestyle.
Then the job left me, result of an assessment of the needs in the agency that I was employed with, found that my position, as well as approximately 100 others, was no longer needed. In actuality, we all found out later that the positions were needed, but in order to avoid a class action lawsuit, they had to get rid of us in a rather clandestine way.....and still make it look good.
We all lost out. So many affected. So many lives disrupted.
As a result, I personally, lost my place. Lost my car. You would think in the Nation's capital that something like this would or should not happen. Not the case. After numerous attempts to find other employment, (still trying, searching daily) I lost everything. I was bitter for a while, but then reality set in, and I realized that I have to survive now. I've been homeless before, so it wasn't such a blow this time.
It's disconcerting to see, once again in the Nation's capital, so many affected by the economy. The working and living poor I call them. So many just a step away from poverty. I consider myself fortunate that I know how to survive. But it's tough. A daily battle.
Daily, there's the struggle of where you will sleep, eat, bathe. Things that when you have, you take for granted. I cry daily for those that cannot help themselves. But then I realize, that I am just a step away from that. The only thing that separates me from them is that, my survival instincts have saved the day.
I've been hungry for two days now. It's a struggle, especially without a vehicle to get up, from whereever you slept the night before, and make it to a place that serves food for the poor. For the last two nights, I could not make it to the place that I go to in time before they stopped serving. So....I went hungry. I made it today, phew! Thank you!
To be continued.......a day in the life.
Why am i writing this, I ask myself. Then I remember.....oh......to keep my sanity! There are days that are good.....relatively. Then there are days that are bad....really bad.
I remember a time, not long ago, when I was doing really well for myself. Good government job. Nice apartment/condo. Nice car, good food, nice lifestyle.
Then the job left me, result of an assessment of the needs in the agency that I was employed with, found that my position, as well as approximately 100 others, was no longer needed. In actuality, we all found out later that the positions were needed, but in order to avoid a class action lawsuit, they had to get rid of us in a rather clandestine way.....and still make it look good.
We all lost out. So many affected. So many lives disrupted.
As a result, I personally, lost my place. Lost my car. You would think in the Nation's capital that something like this would or should not happen. Not the case. After numerous attempts to find other employment, (still trying, searching daily) I lost everything. I was bitter for a while, but then reality set in, and I realized that I have to survive now. I've been homeless before, so it wasn't such a blow this time.
It's disconcerting to see, once again in the Nation's capital, so many affected by the economy. The working and living poor I call them. So many just a step away from poverty. I consider myself fortunate that I know how to survive. But it's tough. A daily battle.
Daily, there's the struggle of where you will sleep, eat, bathe. Things that when you have, you take for granted. I cry daily for those that cannot help themselves. But then I realize, that I am just a step away from that. The only thing that separates me from them is that, my survival instincts have saved the day.
I've been hungry for two days now. It's a struggle, especially without a vehicle to get up, from whereever you slept the night before, and make it to a place that serves food for the poor. For the last two nights, I could not make it to the place that I go to in time before they stopped serving. So....I went hungry. I made it today, phew! Thank you!
To be continued.......a day in the life.
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